I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
