Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
