so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
