just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize