Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
