i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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