is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
