so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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