Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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