i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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