imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
