I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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