I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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