I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
