Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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