I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
