Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize