Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
