What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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