I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
