Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
