I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
