So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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