Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
