How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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