We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
