Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
