Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
