I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
