never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
not ubering you a puppy
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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