My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
