I wanna bring you to show and tell
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
