Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
