I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
