At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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