NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
