Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize