how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
