So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
