im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
