wake up i wanna do it froggy style
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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