Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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