Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
