two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
