can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am one with the molecules
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
