Christians are straight up FREAKS
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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