Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
