So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
