yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
we're so committed to being not committed
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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