We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
