So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
