this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
