great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
