i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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