Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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