grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have fence marks all over my body
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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