Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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