my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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