playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
