WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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