ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
