Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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