No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
