In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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