If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
