how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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