Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
